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Author of The Girl in the Road. Playwright at @OLittleGreenPig. Traveler. Estoy aprendiendo espaΕ„ol. Atlantic, VQR, WashPo, Glimmer Train, The Baffler, WIRED.

316 Following   2,744 Followers   32,984 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/7/11

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2014 saw the most Palestinians killed by #Israel’s military since β€˜67, according to UN report http://t.co/ofzrJCcD1J http://t.co/LIzCOIEJha
Retweeted by Monica Byrne
back to #research #theactualstar #writerslife http://t.co/FAt89uYrL7"Maybe you will be tickled by one of hundreds of rape jokes that seem to be the movie’s main source of inspiration." http://t.co/lgHR3eSkZM@monicabyrne13 d(happy)/dt > 0
Retweeted by Monica Byrne@aatishb exactly. :)i'm happy, but i want more just like five years ago, i was happy, but i wanted more my velocity is a constantRan out of coffee this morning so I snorted the powder at the bottom of my lucky charms box instead. Long story short I'm immortal now
Retweeted by Monica Byrne@victorlavalle 😊@deannacolins 😊 Thanks.@ferretthimself 😊😊😊😘Always nice to see my good friend @monicabyrne13 on the road. Um, as it were. http://t.co/q6pfLhhl6y
Retweeted by Monica Byrne@dloehr πŸ˜‰@chessninja πŸ˜‰also choice phrase "I'm through with waiting to be noticed" wonder how that will go down but honestly American fucking theatre u deserve itjust used the word "shit-ton" in a fellowship application hope that's okay but also idc if not because gloves are off nowalso, this tweet is gratuitousPeople are literally at a loss as to what to call terrifying mass murder when it's not caused by a Muslim. @Reuters http://t.co/MaLRjI8Y0O
Retweeted by Monica Byrne@mat_johnson It was an obnoxious tweet.@ChuckWendig oooooh I want to see what it does with my many mentions of "yoni"what if nationalities were like genders that are scaled up to a populacei like the guy in the gold glitter shirt at 4:10, man's got style https://t.co/SdO4rIkSQsapparently i couldn't start today's writing session without watching "kajra re" again https://t.co/SdO4rIkSQs@drmagoo ;)@drmagoo you already have one lolsometimes i think older white dudes who follow me on FB have a punch card: 10 supportive comments earns u 1 snarky proprietary comment FREEfive most important words as a child: "OK. how do you play?" ...five most important words as an adult@diamonde Right? Just unspeakably awful.@shaenasaurus Totally. Took me years to realize it, too.@shaenasaurus Yeah. :) Has nothing to do with willpower, as you well know.@shaenasaurus Blurrrrrg. Fuck that. I've gotten that too, but fuck that. Take care of your body.@shaenasaurus Damn. Can you try to get it anyway? Life is too short to put up with treatable depression.@shaenasaurus Yah. Mine, very responsive to 20mg fluoxetine and therapy, so I just stick to that permanently now.@shaenasaurus <3 I know that well.@RachelFersh @EmilyGould Backed. Good luck, yall!#TBT I loved my Catholic school uniform so much, I wanted to wear it everywhere. Even on vacation. http://t.co/L456rUbave@RachelFersh @EmilyGould Hell YES. Do you send out fiction in addition to nonfiction?Printing out my @newinquiry because I don't got a tablet. Worth every ink. http://t.co/w0HYCKwG8kis there a way to donate my mucusU.S., Iran resume talks on preliminary nuclear deal as deadline looms http://t.co/IPCQoEbduj http://t.co/9REa6HTEww
Retweeted by Monica Byrne@Blunty_Poet Ha it would be fine if we were! I like twinsies!
@iknowtrash Mais oui :)@iknowtrash Some are based firmly in current reality. Others are more conjectural.@iknowtrash Hmmmm. What in particular are you referring to? There are a lot of depictions of various world power [dynamics].@iknowtrash ...someone pointed out it was a cognate of "Siri." Hadn't even intended that!@iknowtrash Ah crap, I went away to do my Spanish homework! "Sirius"es were actually named after the star, but then...@NMamatas http://t.co/Ored4V4GZR@NMamatas they're awkward at parties http://t.co/DOwEsQh0iL@NMamatas WHOA WHOA, NO NEED TO GET ALL DEFENSIVE@NMamatas your dog's got folds@pmcg RIGHT !?ok spanish homework now NOW RIGHT NOW, YOUNG LADYshould i get this dress, look it laces https://t.co/NxHBU0Z1pu@jdiddyesquire haha whoa i twote that before thinking very hard about it clearly@jdiddyesquire GOD IS STRADDLING YOUR FACE MY SON@afnewton also did you see this https://t.co/me0MEKsuqwpretty sure this is my favorite tweet that's ever been twatted https://t.co/me0MEKsuqwif i finish my spanish homework in the next hour, i can watch an episode of orphan black i'm in high school again cept i'm both parent + kid@afnewton Wwwwaaaaaaooooeeeeeewwwwwwwww@afnewton omg is there a recipe. also you have the originals? SO DO I!@afnewton #bluemilkThis. Is. Fantastic. http://t.co/m9V4P0gIB2
Retweeted by Monica Byrne@RelUnrelated @cmpriest holy fuck@RelUnrelated @cmpriest Not real. This is NOT real. (Is it!?)And yet So many Undeterred By voicemail Always CallFirst Commandment of Getting in Touch with Monica: Never call to convey/discuss information that can be conveyed/discussed via email or text@iknowtrash NICE! Let me know how it goes! Tweet any burning questions! πŸ˜‰@monicabyrne13 If your ears are glowing tonight, it's because we're discussing #GirlInTheRoad at book club tonight!
Retweeted by Monica Byrnethis spring's hottest look: nostrils glistening with vaselinechrist I am going to burst a ventricle from all of this nose-blowingi also reserve the right to change my mind completely about any and all of this :)@drmagoo ;)it's because i don't want to hand the reins of my life to a sociopathand i don't not want a baby "for my artistic career" although it's convenient for me not to want one for that reasonlucky to not want a baby lucky to be surrounded by people who don't ask me why because they already know@neilhimself @BBCRadio4 Gaaaaaaah! Can we be so lucky....!@caldy @paulboccaccio "show me your sad pork body"@caldy @paulboccaccio THIS IS AMAZINGwish i could do thatthere is a scene in kim stanley robinson's last novel where an ice age shaman reaches down a guy's throat & just pulls out a mass of phlegmhas anyone heard anything about the yale drama series prize, it's that time o'year #2amt@Wellesleymag WOOOOOOOO http://t.co/BsuNFfs7a2@Wellesleymag Is it a yellow class!? YELLOW CLASS@scalzi @AScalzi98 *makes popcorn*@EstherPerel I can't WAIT for your talk to go up.@JohanSilentio Spam. Bye!Hmmm. I go to Rdio special promo page for TED attendees and it says "Page Not Found." @RdioHelp?@amandapalmer Consider it one long baby shower. <3Coolest thing at @TEDTalks 2015: StoryCorps is going GLOBAL. Watch here. Then download the app. http://t.co/AbybDLFTGf@ferretthimself indeed no it is quite literal! http://t.co/CrliUa2Axjso far in 2015 I've been to the TED conference, my first sex party, and the longest cave on earth so I think this is gonna be a banner yearalways wanted a definitive travelogue of the United States from a foreigner, and realizing that Americanah is exactly that@Wellesley @WellesleyAdmit D'awww, you guyyyyyys.....back to my ROUTINES and it feels so GOOD #writerslifeNew post: A playlist for The Girl in the Road. Featuring @KiranAhluwalia, @OfficialMeshell, and @angeliquekidjo. ;) https://t.co/Affz7TUnWOThe part we often miss about sexual assault/violence=Abusers and perpetrators of violence are often at the center of networks ppl rely on
Retweeted by Monica Byrne
@RappazzoK WHAAAAAAAT! DONE!goodnight to my sweetheart in belize wanna be by his side up the lowlands down the river@DarkandWondrous https://t.co/Q3IxL04SQg :)@DarkandWondrous "everybody's free......to feel good, to feel good"@mat_johnson @victorlavalle also called "ambition" & glad i never heard your advice
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