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Michael Burgstahler @twotribes Stuttgart, Germany

Theoretical physicist gone designer since 1992. Founding member of @thevirtualbrain project, lover of everything @rikiki_bonjour does.

169 Following   562 Followers   23,758 Tweets

Joined Twitter 1/27/09

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lolwut RT @bcrypt: https://t.co/bkt5nBvprN http://t.co/R9czfwu4EM
Retweeted by Michael Burgstahler@swiftonsecurity The power plug.
3/24
2015
Disturbed Man Tries to Get Into White House - The New Yorker http://t.co/TPDaqzJoOe
Retweeted by Michael Burgstahler@neilcybart "…is about to experience the closeSt thing…"@glennf How much do I have to pay you to reduce your tweet volume?
3/23
2015
@grumpusnation Yes, it scared me as well :D@grumpusnation obviously."…I’m offended by the fact that there is no bacon strip on the emoji keyboard in iOS." http://t.co/DrXb8x7R1r /via @GrumpusNation@grumpusnation But of course. #facepalm@grumpusnation Someone should lobby for a bacon emoji."Taco Bell recently lobbied the Unicode Consortium to add a taco emoji to its keyboard." There's even a petition. https://t.co/PFFPKRApPm@edbott You're spreading misinformation, Ed. http://t.co/bUX9q5bVzT
3/22
2015
Ubiquitous filler text "Lorem ipsum…" originated from the Cicero script "De Finibus Bonorum et Malorum" (45 B.C.). http://t.co/GyF0EbEUxK@simonebaumer LOL!!! Doppelter Espresso?
3/21
2015
@jcroft He peaked in 2013. Lame.@sk_txet TextremThe two basic types of white males. http://t.co/RAB9GofNIt
3/20
2015
Assumptions of watch makers that they can make competitive "connected watches" are as futile as voice phone makers vowing "smart phones"
Retweeted by Michael BurgstahlerUsing someone else’s CMS is as uncomfortable as wearing someone else’s underwear.
Retweeted by Michael Burgstahler@grumpusnation Don't wade into unknown territo… aw, shoot… http://t.co/A3C6dWHVxXImmer wieder nett, wenn man mal wieder "ausbedungen" schreiben kann.When in Rome...... #dogfooding http://t.co/yTp2XLHnCU
Retweeted by Michael BurgstahlerOpenSSL 1.0.2 ClientHello sigalgs DoS (CVE-2015-0291): "This can be exploited in a DoS attack against the server." https://t.co/VHuTS2s8AG
3/19
2015
@rands Famous last Word.@counternotions In space, no one can hear you sue.When was the last time a call center did not experience 'higher than usual' call volumes?
Retweeted by Michael Burgstahler
3/18
2015
@getwired 4: PROFIT!Siberian huskies playing on a frozen lake. Awesome light! http://t.co/fegJdWxFgu /cc @r00p http://t.co/WCs6jtTHIO@neilcybart It has to, yes. Which in return means that deleting photos/videos doesn't immediately free up space. Only emptying this "trash".@neilcybart When you delete them, they aren't really gone. They're kept in a "trash" album for 30 days before the vanish.
3/17
2015
@jina Sushi, robots"We regret to inform you that your request for employment termination cannot be accommodated at this time." http://t.co/CQELxZEcttI've seen many websites which dynamically link to http://t.co/JmGwYbEJGN as a cheap CDN. #busted http://t.co/XBAOx6UNRy /via @DrPizzaThe MacBook 12" has a logic board only twice the size of the logic board of the iPhone 6. http://t.co/92ztXUEumn
Retweeted by Michael BurgstahlerThe 6 stages of debugging: 1) Can't happen. 2) Shouldn't happen? 3) Doesn't happen on my machine. 4) Why? 5) Oh. 6) How did this ever work?
Retweeted by Michael BurgstahlerSuccinct and smart as always: "Why is Apple making a gold watch?" http://t.co/P5FMcusoE5 by @BenedictEvans"One might call the gold a marketing detox - an emancipation of tech from the tech industry.""I struggle to imagine Samsung making solid gold watches. Apple's brand might or might not work there, but no other CE company's does.""if you think Apple’s margins are high, have a look at the gross margins on perfume"@neilcybart B + No
3/12
2015
The all-in-one Apple Watch spreadsheet: "Apple will be shipping 38 separate models of watches." http://t.co/ViGfqjC6TK /via @jdalrymple“Like many who came before them, they decided that HTML and CSS just weren’t quite good enough for them.” — https://t.co/tmnMDeXXUv
Retweeted by Michael Burgstahler"Google + Facebook r desperate 2 find a baseball cap that they can put on backwards. Angular is Google's baseball cap. React is Facebook's.""The [Apple] brand therefore has managed to move from a rational, to a neurological, to an endocrine response." http://t.co/alksKCC5CjJournalists googling "WTF is DNS" right now.Via @film_girl: Apple says problem was caused by "an internal DNS error at Apple" and that a fix is on its way http://t.co/319arc8IK7
Retweeted by Michael Burgstahler@jdalrymple Can't wait to see your faith restored, heathen. http://t.co/uXNrm7DbD7What is it with Germans, always naming enterprise software after a cringeworthy acronym? It's sick.@neilcybart Apple's biggest innovation with its watch is the lack of a pundit port.We all suck at drawing the ubiquitous Apple logo from memory. http://t.co/Ta9fCzN4wX http://t.co/eJSAShUBaJ
3/11
2015
Excellent: “Nobody will pay $10,000 for an Apple Watch!” & other reasons you can’t sell shit by @amyhoyhttps://t.co/3Vws66yHA4Re: Apple Watch Edition for $10k: A Birkin bag STARTS at $10k, goes up to $150k. Might fall out of fashion sometime. http://t.co/dCm3mPIaRsApple's main adversary for winning the trust of consumers is its own damn government. What a depressing relationship.
Retweeted by Michael BurgstahlerApple needs to triple down on encryption and security. Turn all the lights off at the CIA and NSA. Only defense against these wicked snoops.
Retweeted by Michael Burgstahler"The United States intelligence agencies are at war against all U.S. citizens." – @marcoarment http://t.co/ZpcTaTrFsK Yep.Good question: Is it lawful when looking at your Apple Watch or interacting with it while driving?CIA researchers conducted a multi-year, sustained effort to break the security of Apple’s iPhones and iPads. https://t.co/jFQ4S5Yh6A“If Apple is mad at the intelligence community, and they should be, they should put their lawyers to work. Lawsuits speak louder than words”"The focus of the security researchers… was to target the GID key, which Apple implants on all devices that use the same processors."“If the CIA can undermine Apple’s systems, it’s likely they’ll be able to deploy the same capabilities against everyone else,”“The US gov is prioritizing its own offensive surveillance needs over the cybersecurity of the millions of Americans who use Apple products”"The modified version of Xcode, the researchers claimed, could enable spies to steal passwords and grab messages on infected devices."
3/10
2015
@glennf Suddenly relevant again: https://t.co/hOe7X4gaEAApple has probably introduced more Americans to metric measurement in one day than US schools do in a year.
Retweeted by Michael BurgstahlerHow delightful to finally see all the hairy wrists of the Apple pundits. #handsonI want Jony Ive to recite the entire periodic system to me.To charge your iPhone from your MacBook whilst also charging the MacBook you'll need something like this $79 dongle http://t.co/vIdYGcL4cL
Retweeted by Michael BurgstahlerCompared to popular luxury watches on Amazon, Apple Watch's price bands fit right in. And they're less hideous. http://t.co/BTOvkDR1Ps@glennf 17,000“You can use the Apple Watch to pay for groceries at Whole Foods. Simply exchange the watch for up to four items from the salad bar.”
Retweeted by Michael BurgstahlerApple's sizing guide for wrist bands is a static PDF and surprisingly unintuitive. http://t.co/cWFcvR8ZwAEveryone right now, for snickers. http://t.co/XrAACg4OKtEdition goes up to the red-Modern one at $17,000.
Retweeted by Michael BurgstahlerUnapologetically goldIs the Apple Watch Edition still a tax-deductible business expense?"What are these millimeter things?" - every American
Retweeted by Michael BurgstahlerTENFUCKINGTHOUSAND #watchout@twotribes Pundits 2020: "Why would I use a retinal implant? My watch is better!"
Retweeted by Michael BurgstahlerPundits, 2010: "Why would I use a tablet? My PC is better!" Pundits, 2015: "Why would I use a watch? My phone is better!"After listening to Ive, I always feel like I just meditated for a week.
Retweeted by Michael BurgstahlerThe USB stick industry just shot itself in the head. #macbook“We need to fill some time before the Watch debut.“ “Let’s just release the most sick laptop ever” “Sounds good”
Retweeted by Michael BurgstahlerFirst live picture of the press touching this new thin gold thing. http://t.co/RnMp8zCRcXPay for Coca Cola with your iPhone, then participate in diabetes research.
Retweeted by Michael Burgstahler2 hours to go. http://t.co/cW5VtlOhEB90% of being a programmer is resisting the urge to throw your computer out the window
Retweeted by Michael Burgstahler
3/9
2015
"Trenches are being dug. The situation slowly escalates. You’re witnessing the human tendency towards tribalism." http://t.co/jNBhByMwEj@grumpusnation We Germans are pissed off if pisses aren't taken according to our beloved regulations :PNeat idea: Shooting reflections of passersby in rain puddles, the flipping them upside-down. https://t.co/kaJC0Gy1gV /cc @r00p
3/8
2015
A wise person once said, "Hardware eventually fails. Software eventually works."
Retweeted by Michael Burgstahler
3/7
2015
"Design is easy. All you do is stare at the screen until drops of blood form on your forehead" —Marty Neumier
Retweeted by Michael BurgstahlerApple Inc. (NASD:AAPL) will replace AT&T Inc. (NYSE:T) in the Dow Jones Industrial Average (DJIA) http://t.co/yV8sftucjiThe Nigerian 419 scam is used since the 1800s: "The oldest trick in the book didn’t get this old by not working." http://t.co/Mbqd3wy7vf
3/6
2015
@akarve I doubt they work around a spec bug unprefixed. It's clearly a bug in their screen buffering.@akarve prefixed works _better_ but not pristine. In some situations, I still see blurred/unblurred artifacts but they vanish w/ -webkit.Applying CSS transitions to CSS3 blur() filters works fine w/ Chrome & Firefox. But even newest Safari leaves artifacts when used unprefixedSafari's implementation of CSS3 blur() filters is buggy when combined with CSS transitions. -webkit prefix is more reliable but not perfect."They're not anecdotes, that's small batch artisanal data"
Retweeted by Michael Burgstahler
3/5
2015
Any sufficiently advanced technology with a poorly-designed user interface is indistinguishable from evil.
Retweeted by Michael BurgstahlerNew spam tactic: Attaching .ics files to spam emails. On many PCs, they to get auto-processed in the calendar app, even if mail isn't opened
3/4
2015
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